Hate or Love My Facebook Posts?

I use Facebook to network with fellow writers, to keep up with family news, and to follow topics that interest me like genealogy and the Civil War. Increasingly, I’ve used Facebook to keep up with political factions and to express my political views. In case you aren’t a friend of mine on Facebook, I’m a feminist and a progressive liberal.

I know that not all my friends and family share my views of the world or even if they do, they might not want to see it day after day. Facebook has a solution for that. You can adjust the settings so the person is still your friend, but so their posts do not show up on your news feed. If you hate my politics and still like me, then I recommend that you do that.

Today I approved a new friend, even though I didn’t recognize the person. They were posting in a group from my hometown on a post where I’d put a photo of my brother. Assuming they were a friend of his or possibly an old high school acquaintance of mine, I said OK to the friend request.

Shortly after that, they posted this on my timeline:

“Words mean things people…STOP hating with them. Sticks and stones…that’s a lie from the pit of hell. Thank u JESUS Christ for dieing for MY sins. 💕❤👣✌❤💖”

What? You asked to be my friend and within minutes you are telling me you don’t like my words and preaching at me? That’s pretty pushy. Maybe they befriend lots of people just so they can spread their message across Facebook.

I guess that’s what the unfriend button is for.

And one more point here, I’ll take you a lot more seriously if you are reasonably literate. “Thank u JESUS Christ for dieing for MY sins.” Please, don’t use those texting abbreviations, write in all-capitals, and misspell simple words like “dying.”


8 thoughts on “Hate or Love My Facebook Posts?

  1. Kathryn Grace July 1, 2015 / 7:55 pm

    Well said, Virginia. I joined FB reluctantly, as a way of keeping in touch with far-flung friends and family. Because I write online, I soon had people asking me to “friend” them–people I had a passing acquaintance with online, some whose writings and work I admired, like yours, and some who must just troll through the site, clicking “Friend” “Friend” “Friend.”

    In the beginning I simply ignored all but my original family and friends. Over time, though, I added a few more here and there. Boy do some of us get into it with our disparate political and social justice opinions! As long as people are willing to engage in meaningful dialogue I welcome the discourse.
    Few do, though. Who has time, right?

    But I wish we did. We can learn from one another. Facebook has taught me how much truly rabid hatred there is in the world. Until a few years ago, I thought such violent vitriol was pretty the province of the insane. Now I know it’s everywhere, and that many of the people who espouse evil action against people they have no desire to understand, let alone love, also think of themselves as upstanding citizens and are members of churches, spouting statements about Christ along with the hate, and showing how little they understand of his message to the world.

    Gradually, though, I’m finding a community of people intent on fomenting peace in the world. The sheer number of ordinary people doing extraordinary things to make the world a good place for all its people is astonishing. I wish our mainstream media led with their stories every single newscast. What a different world we might live in.

    I’m sorry, though not even the tiniest surprised, that you had this experience with that individual. I hope you let them go right out of your feed without another thought.

    • Virginia Allain July 2, 2015 / 2:42 am

      It is shocking how rabid some people are. I try to give my opinions without getting into name calling and wish I could do more to convince people on topics I feel passionately about like women’s rights and universal healthcare and protecting the environment.

      Thanks for taking the time to write such a thoughtful comment.

      • Kathryn Grace July 2, 2015 / 9:44 pm

        You’re welcome, Virginia. I know how easy it is to feel discouraged and to believe that our commentary has little effect, but I am reminded time and again of individuals who, in my life or anothers, said some thing–some truth–spoken with kindness, or even with righteous anger, and how that moment changed my life, or how another individual reported that that single comment changed their life forever.

        I keep the following quotation on my virtual desktop and read it every time I log in to my computer:

        “Your work is not to drag the world kicking and screaming into a new awareness. Yours is to simply do your work .. Sacredly, Secretly, and silently … and those with ‘eyes to see and ears to hear’, will respond.

        The Arcturians”

        It’s a good reminder of my intent and purpose. Perhaps it will come in handy. I’m grateful for your voice in my feed.

  2. Nancy Dunlap July 1, 2015 / 8:48 pm

    Even though I disagree with your politics, I respect your right to hold them. What I do find disappointing is that I see your postings, but am NOT able to “comment” on them…. I thought we were FB “friends” but looks like I am just “following” you….perhaps you unfriended me, but if I’m going to see your posts, I should be able to comment on them….. by not being able to comment them, it comes across to me that you are only interested in “comments” from those who share your political beliefs…. Please feel free to correct me if that is not the case…..

    • Virginia Allain July 2, 2015 / 1:47 am

      Nancy – You must be seeing them show up in Denny’s feed or something. Some time back, I thought to spare you my posts as they seemed to upset you. Apparently I did not set that correctly if they are still visible. I did not want my politics to affect our friendship with you and your family. Let’s try again.

  3. Linda Martin July 5, 2015 / 8:11 pm

    I had that happen to me a few days ago too. Someone took offense at what I posted in my feed. I deleted his comments and unfriended him. It wasn’t even someone I know.

    I try to keep my friends list down to only certain types of people. First, I want my family and friends I know IRL there. Second, I approve all who are online writers, like you. Third, I approve people who are in the Bigfoot research community. (The abrasive commenter was in that last group.)

    There are other people who know me from my family rights website who want to be my Facebook friend but I tell them to go to my Facebook page for that website instead. When it comes to family issues… I want my privacy, and that’s such a controversial topic I don’t want to offend my friends and family by focusing on it on my personal timeline.

    A few years ago I joined Ed Dale’s “Immediate Edge” member site for a few months. He said he never lets anyone onto his personal timeline on Facebook unless he knows them IRL. Everyone else should go to his professional Facebook page to connect. Makes sense to me.

    I seriously dread election years because of the politics. Coming right up . . . and I’m so glad we can turn off notifications for people who post too much along political lines. There’s more to life than just politics and religion!

    • Virginia Allain July 5, 2015 / 8:34 pm

      I’m afraid that I’m a frequent political posting person, but am trying to intersperse those with some light things and my writing links. Hope my friends don’t get fed up with me.

  4. Rhonda Reid July 21, 2015 / 4:27 am

    Virginia, You and I have similar political beliefs, and I love seeing your posts. Keep ’em coming.

    I find Facebook to be an interesting study in human psychology. Some people feel free to say whatever rude things they wish, as if there were no need to follow any standards for respect or courtesy online. I express my opinions freely, and people are just as free to unfriend me or to comment back (politely). I think that we all have to remember that Facebook is not a medium to hide behind so that you can say mean and hateful (or even unwanted) things that you wouldn’t say “in real life.”

    I’ve lost a couple of friends on Facebook who forgot to treat me with even the mildest respect and courtesy. I do not hesitate to push the unfriend button if it comes to that. Too bad, it’s not that easy to quiet someone in real life.

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